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Author Topic: Bethorm: Plane of Tekumel RPG Progress Reports
jeffdee
Administrator
Posts: 427
Post Re: Bethorm: Plane of Tekumel RPG Progress Reports
on: September 12, 2014, 17:57

The Glyph of Significant Publication:

Image

-Jeff
Talabardio
Nakomé (Clanless)
Posts: 16
Post Re: Bethorm: Plane of Tekumel RPG Progress Reports
on: September 12, 2014, 22:06

Congratulations on completing a massive undertaking!
luther
Dlántü (Clan-Head)
Posts: 133
Post Re: Bethorm: Plane of Tekumel RPG Progress Reports
on: September 13, 2014, 10:45

Indeed! Congratulations!
jeffdee
Administrator
Posts: 427
Post Re: Bethorm: Plane of Tekumel RPG Progress Reports
on: September 13, 2014, 14:35

Otulengba!

A pre-release, "not yet approved for Tekumel" PDF of the Bethorm rulebook is ready for download (by backers who pledged $20 or more). Check your email for an update from the Bethorm Kickstarter project that will contain the download link, and enjoy!

The PDF has also been submitted to the Tekumel Foundation for final approval. This final "Approved for Tekumel" edition is coming soon to both print and PDF!

Next up: progress reports on the Bethorm RPG add-ons.
-Jeff
Chris-
Western
Nakomé (Clanless)
Posts: 17
Post Re: Bethorm: Plane of Tekumel RPG Progress Reports
on: September 13, 2014, 17:50

Jeff,
I just took a look at the PDF. It looks fantastic. Congrats. I can't wait to get my hands on my hardcover copy!!! Awesome

ChrisW :0)
luther
Dlántü (Clan-Head)
Posts: 133
Post Re: Bethorm: Plane of Tekumel RPG Progress Reports
on: September 13, 2014, 18:30

I've been reading the pdf. I am enjoying the way you are presenting the history of Tekumel.

That said, I do have a comment about the text formatting/flow. In a number of the instances of hyphenated terms (e.g., "role - playing" on page 9, "city - state" on page 11), the full justifying of the text is stretching the space between the words and hyphen enough that I find myself "stumbling" as I read them, having to pause to process the fact that the words are actually connected. I hope I'm expressing myself well.

This is a very small thing, but I thought you might like to know about issues with its readability. There are instances where the space between words and hyphens are small enough that my brain readily perceives the connection. It is just some instances where the justification breaks that recognition pattern by stretching the space enough that my brain does not automatically recognize the relationship between the words. It would be nice if there is an easy way for you to enforce the spacing in the hyphenated terms against the stretching caused by the justification.
luther
Dlántü (Clan-Head)
Posts: 133
Post Re: Bethorm: Plane of Tekumel RPG Progress Reports
on: September 13, 2014, 19:20

OK. I've been looking at the rules for hyphenated compounds. I think there is not supposed to be space between the words and hyphens (e.g., "low-rider" not "low - rider"). This make sense to me because, after reading a bit further I find some confusion telling when you are using the hyphen to indicate compound words and when you are using it as a flow manager in the text. For example, on page 11, under V. The Benalljan Period, in that first paragraph after that heading, you have "...a teenage desert clan - girl who rose to power through intrigue, sex, sorcery, assassination - and military savvy." The spacing of the hyphen with relation to the surrounding words is the same for the compound word "clan - girl" and the use as a suggested pause (?) between "assassination" and "and". Further, with this similarity in use of spaces in compound words, I am not entirely sure how to read the list of gods in The First Epoch list on page 12.

I suggest you adjust all of the compound words with hyphens so that there is no space between the words and the associated hyphens (e.g., clan-girl, not "clan - girl").

I referenced The Merriam-Webster Concise Handbook for Writers (1991, pp 92,93) for the rules concerning hyphenated compound words.
Nick Bogan
Nakomé (Clanless)
Posts: 9
Post Re: Bethorm: Plane of Tekumel RPG Progress Reports
on: September 13, 2014, 19:36

I agree with Luther--the hyphens and dashes should be distinguished. This threw me off when I started skimming the PDF.

Also, I'm sure the layout work was a pain, but many of the creature drawings--e.g., the Ghar, Hli'ir, Krua, Pachi Lei, Ru'un--are sized too small for my taste. They don't have the presence that they should on the page, and it's difficult to see their details.

I've only had time to nitpick; it will take much longer to review the work in detail and appreciate its virtues, but it looks really good. For example, I'm excited about the careful reworking of the S&G/Gardasiyal spell corpus for playability and with flavorful names for the spell levels.
jeffdee
Administrator
Posts: 427
Post Re: Bethorm: Plane of Tekumel RPG Progress Reports
on: September 13, 2014, 20:06

You guys are right about the hyphenation. It'll be fixed in the final/approved version.

-Jeff
Nick Bogan
Nakomé (Clanless)
Posts: 9
Post Re: Bethorm: Plane of Tekumel RPG Progress Reports
on: September 13, 2014, 20:23

A few nitpicks from the first few pages:

p. 9 - "One of the players act as..." -> acts

p. 11, under the Dragon Warriors - "What the legends and epics refer to as flying "dragons" are aircars, but this has become lost." Maybe on Your Tekumel this is the case, but I thought that Prince of Skulls said otherwise. Perhaps this should be rephrased so as to be ambiguous.

p. 11, references to Vimuhla and Ksarul--should these include references to Section 3.6.1.2 for the unfamiliar reader?
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