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Author Topic: Bethorm Pre-Release Feedback
jeffdee
Administrator
Posts: 427
Post Bethorm Pre-Release Feedback
on: September 14, 2014, 11:39

This is the (best) place to post your comments about the pre-release PDF of Bethorm!

-Jeff
luther
Dlántü (Clan-Head)
Posts: 133
Post Re: Bethorm Pre-Release Feedback
on: September 14, 2014, 12:28

[Moved here from progress report forum.]

Page 14, first paragraph: "...everything that is needed to created characters..."
luther
Dlántü (Clan-Head)
Posts: 133
Post Re: Bethorm Pre-Release Feedback
on: September 14, 2014, 12:58

Page 17, under 3.4 Step 1: Clan, towards the end of the 2nd paragraph in that section, I find:

"The clan will do the same for an Aridáni woman member, and for a non - Aridáni clanswoman it will provide lifelong security and care."

A "see" reference to p.23 may be useful.
luther
Dlántü (Clan-Head)
Posts: 133
Post Re: Bethorm Pre-Release Feedback
on: September 14, 2014, 13:13

Page 196, Nininyal "the Pygmy Folk".

Is that the correct illustration? It looks more reptilian than "rodent like" and the illustration's tail does not look vestigial.
jeffdee
Administrator
Posts: 427
Post Re: Bethorm Pre-Release Feedback
on: September 14, 2014, 14:52

Yes, that's the correct illustration.

Image

-Jeff
Darren-
King
Nakomé (Clanless)
Posts: 3
Post Re: Bethorm Pre-Release Feedback
on: September 14, 2014, 18:03

In the descriptions of the Lords of Change on p.27 I'm fairly certain that Dlamelish should be the "Green-Eyed Lady of Fleshy Joys", rather than the "GREED-Eyed Lady" as she's named there.
Nick Bogan
Nakomé (Clanless)
Posts: 9
Post Re: Bethorm Pre-Release Feedback
on: September 14, 2014, 19:43

p. 16, column 1: "...as well as the occasion quick bit of bloodshed..." -> occasional

p. 20, section 3.4.2.3: The first two sentences are nearly identical with those
discussing a foreigner joining in the above section, which is jarring. Also, the section title ("Nonhuman Clans") sounds like there are Tsolyani clans that are entirely or primarily nonhuman, but the section doesn't discuss this.

p. 20, section 3.4.2.3: "Nonhuman characters are assumed to have overcome these hurdles, and may therefor" -> therefore
luther
Dlántü (Clan-Head)
Posts: 133
Post Re: Bethorm Pre-Release Feedback
on: September 14, 2014, 23:48

Thank you, sir! I can see the fur in the larger image.

Page 20, Table 3.4.3.6, 26-35 percentile, Under the "Specific Space" column, "Usenanu = 90-11". I suspect that "11" is an error.
jeffdee
Administrator
Posts: 427
Post Re: Bethorm Pre-Release Feedback
on: September 15, 2014, 01:02

"Page 14, first paragraph: "...everything that is needed to created characters...""
Fixed!

"Page 17, under 3.4 Step 1: Clan, towards the end of the 2nd paragraph ... a "see" reference to p.23 may be useful."
Done!

"on p.27 I'm fairly certain that Dlamelish should be the "Green-Eyed Lady of Fleshy Joys", rather than the "GREED-Eyed Lady"
Heh! Fixed!

"p. 16, column 1: "...as well as the occasion quick bit of bloodshed..." -> occasional"
Fixed!

"p. 20, section 3.4.2.3: "Nonhuman characters are assumed to have overcome these hurdles, and may therefor" -> therefore"
Fixed!

"Page 20, Table 3.4.3.6, 26-35 percentile, Under the "Specific Space" column, "Usenanu = 90-11""
Fixed!

-Jeff
jeffdee
Administrator
Posts: 427
Post Re: Bethorm Pre-Release Feedback
on: September 15, 2014, 01:18

Copied from the Status Reports thread:

"p. 9 - "One of the players act as..." -> acts"
Fixed!

"p. 11, under the Dragon Warriors - "What the legends and epics refer to as flying "dragons" are aircars, but this has become lost." Maybe on Your Tekumel this is the case, but I thought that Prince of Skulls said otherwise. Perhaps this should be rephrased so as to be ambiguous."
It must have been a translation error. Fixed!

-Jeff
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